Weekly News via Email
   Set as homepage | Add to favorites | Customer Service | Subscribe Now | Place an Ad | Contact Us | Sitemap Monday, 02.19.2018
News Archive
Su Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa
 2  3  4  5  6  7  8
 9  10  11  12  13  14  15
 16  17  18  19  20  21  22
 23  24  25  26  27  28  29
 30  31
Online Extras
Site Services
Around Bend
Outdoor Fun
Travel Info
Shop Local

Members Of

Poll: Today's Live Poll
Email to a friend | Print this | PDF version | Comments (0 posted) 
  Blogger |   del.icio.us |   digg |   newsvine

Dec 21,2007
Senior Advice: Woman elects to end friendship after political row
by Doug Mayberry

Q: Last week a friend of 26 years and I got into an argument about a political candidate which ended with her walking out of my house and slamming the door. Being born in the same town, we spent our girlish years laughing, finding husbands, having children and maturing together. I hope she is feeling as I do - there is no legitimate reason why we are mad at each other. Neither of us has picked up the phone to apologize, and of course, I think she should be the one to do so. Am I right?

A: Historical advice about not discussing politics or religion remains as valid as ever. However, in your case it would appear because of your years of friendship even this advice could be ignored. The sudden confrontation brings up the real issue of your friendship. Have either of you changed over time or neglected to tell the other you would like to move on? An unexpected outburst like what happened may not be the real cause in the deterioration of your friendship, but simply serves as an excuse to dissolve your previous closeness.

Could one of you given up on nurturing the other? Are you loyal or have one of you found a new friend with whom you are more compatible? For personal reasons, has one of you begun to withdraw and gotten defensive?

The bottom line is we all change, and perhaps even differences between your husbands serves as an excuse to move on. If you would like to repair the friendship, why not be the first to apologize and ask forgiveness? A written apology would give her time to reveal how she really feels. If she responds affectionately and is also forgiving you can repair your former happiness. It will prove to be a lesson learned: No more sharing of political opinions!

Q: Our grandson is 19 and becoming progressively more negative about life. He complains about the world in general, the war, the devaluation of our dollar plus criticizing his parents and sister. We don't believe he is into any addictions, but is lonely and has only a few friends. His parents have taken him to several doctors, without results. What do you think is going on?

A: I am not a doctor, but on the surface your grandson appears not to love himself very much. If you don't love yourself it is difficult to love others. Perhaps he is making negative choices in an effort to draw attention to himself. Most of us have been exposed to those who do so. He could possibly even be jealous of his sister. His attitude may simply be the results of his believing he can influence and get more attention from his parents if he assumes a negative approach to life.

I remember when I was about 15 and complaining to my mother about the world she pulled me up and said, "Do you want to enjoy life, be happy, have people to love you, and have friends? If you do, you'd better change your attitude."

I chose to take her advice as a wake-up call. It worked. By deciding I most wanted to enjoy and participate with others in our wonderful world I began to focus on the good, not the bad.

Life is about making choices and is not always perfect. Assuming a positive versus a negative attitude has rewarded me with love from caring family and friends. Suggest to your grandson the same approach will also work for him!

Doug Mayberry lives in a retirement community in Southern California. Send your questions to him at deardoug@msn.com or write to him at P.O. Box 2649, Carlsbad, CA 92018.

© Copley News Service
3665 times read

Related news
Senior Advice: Meet, greet - it's sweet by Doug_Mayberry posted on Feb 15,2008

Senior Advice: Time to bury the hatchet with grandson by Doug_Mayberry posted on Feb 01,2008

Senior Advice: Granddaughter already off to a good start by Doug_Mayberry posted on Mar 23,2009

Senior Advice: Relax - sibling rivalry is normal by Doug_Mayberry posted on Aug 31,2007

Did you enjoy this article? Rating: 5.00Rating: 5.00Rating: 5.00Rating: 5.00Rating: 5.00 (total 23 votes)

Market Information
Breaking News
Most Popular
Most Commented
Featured Columnist
Horoscope Guide
Aquarius Aquarius Libra Libra
Aries Aries Pisces Pisces
Cancer Cancer Sagittarius Sagittarius
Capricorn Capricorn Scorpio Scorpio
Gemini Gemini Taurus Taurus
Leo Leo Virgo Virgo
Local Attractions
Bend Visitors & Convention Bureau
Bend Visitors & Convention Bureau

Mt. Bachelor Resort
Mt. Bachelor Resort

Les Schwab Ampitheater
Les Schwab Ampitheater

Deschutes County Fairgrounds
Deschutes County

Tower Theatre
Tower Theatre

The High Desert Museum


Deschutes County

  Web    BendWeekly.com
© 2006 Bend Weekly News
A .Com Endeavors, Inc. Company.
All Rights Reserved. Terms under
which this service is provided to you.
Please read our Privacy Policy. Contact us.
Bend Weekly News & Event Guide Online
   Save the Net
External sites open in new window,
not endorsed by BendWeekly.com
Subscribe in NewsGator Online
Add to Google Add to MSN Add to My AOL
What are RSS headlines?