Dear John: I have the greatest girlfriend in the world. We have just been through our first semester at college. However, we've had our share of fights, usually when she gets really jealous and feels that I look at other girls. I tell her that they mean nothing to me, but I don't think she believes me, so how do I convince her? — One-Woman Guy, in Washington, D.C.
Dear One-Woman: From what you say, these insecurities are drawn from your actions — even if you don't mean to give the impression that you are interested in others.
Many guys don't realize it, but sometimes they have a tendency to stare at particularly pretty women. And of course, this will make a woman very insecure as to where she stands with you. That said, in the future, when the two of you are together in public, give her your full attention. This is the perfect time to demonstrate small acts of kindness, such as pulling out her chair for her, or opening the door before she walks through. When she is at your side, pat her arm or her back, or give her a reassuring peck on the cheek.
In other words, actions speak louder than words. So just don't tell her, but demonstrate your love, and all her insecurities will begin to drop away.
Dear John: I am a single 42-year-old woman interested in a mature 38-year-old man. He is currently living with someone else whom he says he is no longer in love with, but it is a "convenient" living arrangement. There have been indicators he is interested in me. (For example, he gave me his car key.) Should I even consider pursuing or thinking about this relationship, and will it blossom any further? — The Inconvenient Woman, in St. Louis, Mo.
Dear Inconvenient Woman: Despite the fact that he has given you a key to his car, his true interest in you will be demonstrated over a longer period of time. Right now, whether he admits it or not, he is still encumbered with this other relationship. Actions speak louder than words. If and when he is ready to pursue you or anyone else, the first step will be his moving out. In the meantime, if you chase after him, this will only chase him away. If he is truly interested, he will do the chasing.
John Gray is the author of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus."
Copyright 2009 John Gray's Mars Venus Advice. Distributed By Creators Syndicate, Inc.