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Mar 23,2006
Fishing My dad came down the mountain for a visit. He was carrying only one commandment: Thou shalt honor thy father. We decided to fish because my dad is a longtime fisherman and I ... well, I shalt honor my father. I've never understood the attraction of fishing, trying for hours to catch something that costs a dollar at McDonald's. It's not like we would eat our catches anyway. My wife, having zero stink tolerance, told ... [full story]
2323 times read - No comment posted

Apr 12,2006
Doey Overies I'm teaching my wife how to play tennis. We joined a club across the street. We're members, darling. Now, Yahaira is pretty competitive as women go. When she loses a game of Uno, she's likely to attack. Teeth first. Her whole family is like that. Aunt Ena hasn't spoken to us since that Pictionary fight last Christmas. So while I teach Yahaira the ropes -- or the net as it were -- I take care ... [full story]
2660 times read - No comment posted

May 22,2006
Being a first-timer to the chocolate fountain, I was a little nervous. For those unfamiliar with the latest party phenomena, a chocolate fountain is basically a fondue pot engineered to explode like a volcano. Chocolate shoots up through a center pipe, then cascades down in three tiers, or “curtains of chocolate” as the professionals call them. Actually, I was perfectly relaxed about the whole chocolate fountain experience until the hostess began giving instructions. There are always two ... [full story]
1762 times read - No comment posted

May 28,2006
One of the dumbest fads I ever suffered through was the 'Baby On Board' signs people used to put in their car windows during the 1980s. This originally started out as a friendly warning to other motorists, urging them to drive cautiously, as there was a small infant in the car.The people who used these signs needed to read them a little more closely though. These were the drivers who would tailgate you on residential ... [full story]
1853 times read - No comment posted

May 28,2006
In case you didn’t notice, the world is not a perfect place. There’s war, pollution, hunger, injustice, and of course Anna Nicole Smith. Even little things don’t make sense: rush hour traffic not going anywhere, boxing at the Goodwill Games, DVDs showing us highlights of movies THAT WE’RE ABOUT TO WATCH. One night, after being flagrantly overserved by a bartender, I scribbled on cocktail napkins a list of world improvements. First I called it “If I ... [full story]
2192 times read - No comment posted

Jun 08,2006
Once upon a time I drank so much tequila that I lost track of ... what's that called ... consciousness. Next morning, I couldn't remember a thing. Fortunately, the tattoo would jar my memory. The "tribal band" circled my left bicep like a serial bee sting, the om symbol thirteen times. Om is supposed to reveal the fleeting nature of reality. I had decided to honor it with a PERMANENT MARK. Every tattoo should say the same thing ... [full story]
15099 times read - No comment posted

Jun 08,2006
If you are thinking of going to a modern art show anytime soon, you might want to consider taking your own chair. The husband and I recently toured a minimalist exhibit, which is an art show that looks like the gallery moved all the art to another location except for the pieces that were too heavy and too large to load on the U-Haul.  The first piece of minimalism we encountered looked like a side-by-side ... [full story]
1823 times read - No comment posted

Jun 08,2006
Laughing Stalk Syndicate, Copyright 2006In a previous job, I used to work with people who are blind or visually impaired. I traveled quite extensively to different conferences and trade shows. During those conferences, I had the opportunity to meet all sorts of people and see all sorts of products related to technology, mobility, and independent living. After a while, everything started running together, and I can't remember where I've been without a datebook and an ... [full story]
2838 times read - No comment posted

Jun 15,2006
Roller coasters have always struck me as a preventable trauma. I mean, if life ain’t hard enough. And while in our youth we jump off buildings just to see, we come to feel secure on the ground and view thrill rides as far-off things like outer space or pterodactyls. I actually blacked out on my last coaster, so who else would be chosen to ride Magic Mountain’s newest addition, Tatsu: Flying at the Speed of ... [full story]
1929 times read - No comment posted

Jun 15,2006
To the outside world, it's a spring morning just like any other. Garbage trucks clang down sleepy streets. Commuters battle rush hour traffic. And lines of coffee fanatics wait to get their morning fix at their favorite coffee houses.But at Little Lamb Day Care, a storm is brewing that threatens to end its long and illustrious history.Recently, the school was rocked by a controversy that has shaken the very foundations of early childhood education. Not ... [full story]
2213 times read - No comment posted

Jun 15,2006
You can hardly drive a mile of interstate or thoroughfare without seeing a portable DVD player dangling from the ceiling of a mini-van or strapped to the back of a passenger seat, little round faces basking in the flickering blue glow. They didn’t have portable DVD players when our children were young. I am loath to admit this, but when our children traveled in the car they actually had to, um, well, uh, well, they ... [full story]
1775 times read - No comment posted

Jun 22,2006
Did you hear about the tarot whiz who got hit by a truck? She didn’t see it coming.   Ha! Tarot card readers can be fun, especially when they’re your wife and you can tease them in print. Yahaira, my little gypsy, has researched tarot, taken the quizzes, even spoken to a profoundly obese woman who speaks with the dead (a large medium). There was, of course, a learning curve in Yahaira’s early readings: “You will ... [full story]
2416 times read - No comment posted

Jun 22,2006
My father is a man for whom the glass is always half full. Maybe even more than half. I have often wondered if this attitude comes from being a boy during the Depression or from serving in the infantry during World War II. Perhaps it comes from growing up on a farm with eight brothers and sisters, resourceful parents, open skies and rolling prairies. Or perhaps it is simply the way God made him. “It’s not the ... [full story]
1836 times read - No comment posted

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